2013.04.06: 8- Starting Qigong

我与癌（8-初涉气功） 2007年底，当时UCLA气功班做的是练功十八法和五禽戏。教练功十八法的是位白人脑癌幸存者，名M，他对练功的执著和热诚让我这位华夏小女子深受感动和鼓舞。后得知，坚持不懈地做练功十八法是使他手术后半身瘫痪得以恢复的重要原因之一。 因为有音乐和口令，且说的是中文，我又有自小做广播操的基础，掌握这类似老年保健操的运动基本不在话下。但真正感悟到气在我体内运行，尤其对一直以来被洗脑，不信邪的我来说，绝非举手之劳。带我们练五禽戏的是汤师傅，来自上海，他的淡定和低调有时是我和M都不易完完全全理解的。M先生和汤师傅这些年，随着时间推进，我们互相了解的加深，逐渐成为我抗癌途中和生命中的良师益友。 病休将近一年时，巩固化疗继续中，原工作单位来电告知，因明文规定，从2006起，病休假从以往的24个月精简到12个月。和LG商量，他让我做最终决定。我的选择是心甘情愿做全职病人，不仅能有更多的时间和俩闺女交流，还可以天天听树上小鸟歌唱，观天上云彩万变。且被批准并开始享受 long term disability benefits. 你们说，我是很幸运还是很不幸呢？ 爸爸妈妈看到我各方面均有所好转，也有了自己新建立的生活圈（没条件，创造条件也要上）。在我的要求下，于2007年秋，在精心照顾我近一年后，回国享受每日快乐的蹦嚓嚓退休生活。 我的巩固化疗终于在小闺女迎来小学毕业的锣鼓声中，历经12个月，伴随Ca125自35跌至12的大好喜讯，于2008年4月圆满结束。 2008年暑假，爸爸妈妈，婆婆，我们四口和另两家友人一起，登上了Alaska Cruise。 无论吃喝玩乐，各取所需，各自为政。我仍找机会尽可能每天做一套练功十八法，因我已开始发觉有时在锻炼中气在体内的运行。十天就在海陆空的交替转换中度过。除LG外（在船上，仍马不停蹄赶写grant，晕），每位对那次轮游都赞不绝口。 爸爸妈妈前脚回国，我后脚紧追不舍。感谢LG和婆婆，使我能放下我的家，同年底，独自一人回到我梦游无数次的家乡西子湖畔。为尽快恢复自身体力，每天凌晨就会和妈妈请的老师一起学舞太极剑。一月有余，我虽学会了有模有样舞太极剑，却丢失了无影无踪刚有所得的气。

Me and Cancer (8 - Starting Qigong) Towards the end of 2007, the UCLA Qigong group was practicing the Eighteen Methods and Wu Qin Xi. The man who taught the Eighteen Methods was Caucasian and also a brain cancer survivor, named M. His dedication and enthusiasm for the practice of qigong made me, as a Chinese woman, feel deeply moved and inspired. I later learned that his unrelenting effort to practice the Eighteen Methods was one of the important reasons he was able to fully recover from paralysis after his surgery. I was able to pick up these exercises - which were like exercises for the elderly - without any problems because there was music, the verbal commands were in Chinese, and I also had a foundation of exercising since childhood. But to truly feel the qi moving inside of me, for someone who had always been cynical, was by no means an easy task. Master Tang practiced Wu Qin Xi with us. He is from Shanghai, and Mr. M and I both had trouble completely understanding his reserved and low-key personality. As time has pushed forward these past few years, the mutual understanding among Mr. M, Master Tang, and me has deepened, and they have gradually become good teachers and helpful friends both in my life and my battle against cancer. About a year into my sick leave, when I was in the consolidation phase of my chemotherapy, my company called me to say that due to regulations, starting in 2006 the amount of sick leave I could take would decrease from 24 months to 12 months. I discussed this with LG and he let me make the final decision. I decided I would be perfectly happy to become a full time patient, which would not only give me more time to talk with my two daughters, but I could also listen to the birds singing in the trees and watch the clouds moving in the sky. In addition, I became approved to start receiving long term disability benefits. What do you think, am I unlucky, or am I really very lucky? My parents, seeing my improvement in all areas and the new lifestyle that I had built for myself (even without the means, I had to create the means to build it), flew back to China to in the fall of 2007 at my request, culminating their year of meticulously looking after me and returning to their comfortable retirement lifestyle. My consolidation chemotherapy finally ended around the time of my younger daughter's elementary school graduation. Accompanying this, I received the wonderful news that my CA-125 levels had dropped from 35 to 12.  Thus, my 12 months of treatment were brought to a successful conclusion in April 2008. In the summer of 2008, I went on an Alaskan cruise with my daughters,  parents, mother-in-law, and two other families. We all had the chance to eat, drink, be merry, and relax to our heart’s content. Nonetheless, I always tried to make time to practice the eighteen steps every day, because I had already started to feel my qi move inside me when I practiced. Ten days of traveling passed quickly. Other than LG (who continued to catch up on writing grants non-stop, even on the cruise, ugh), everyone on the trip had a great time. As soon as my mom and dad returned home, I started to miss them. I want to thank LG and my mother-in-law for enabling me to let go of my home here: at the end of that same year, I traveled back to the place that I always daydream about, the West Lake in my hometown. To restore my strength as quickly as possible, every morning at dawn I would train in Tai Chi sword with a teacher my mom recommended. In a little over a month, I had begun to grasp Tai Chi sword, but I completely lost the qi that I had worked so long to find.