2014.01.05: 22 - Unexpected Problems

我与癌（22-节外生枝） 今年的感恩节是我们搬到新家的第一个感恩节。 虽然车库里还有没打开的箱子，虽然房间的书桌上仍凌乱地堆满杂物，这一切都不足以让LG取消邀请学生来家过节的理由。要知道这正好是他再显大战火鸡，展示厨艺的绝佳机会。也许是我有太高的期望，自己觉得今年的火鸡味道不如 2012 年的，很有可能是因为LG 烹调从来就不按部就班，想哪做哪造成的。心知肚明就我事多，嘴上的赞美是绝不可少的。 感恩节后，哥嫂又如往年一样，飞来看我。见我又是生龙活虎的样，比5月前参加大闺女毕业典礼时的体力，体重都更胜一筹，宽心不少。今年抗癌大队组织的Party也没有拉下。 12月18日（星期三）做完今年的最后一次化疗，Ca125也在缓慢下降，满怀信心迎接节日的到来。20日星期五做完操，和队友一起去与我们已退休的气功老师共进中餐馆的早茶。虽不是我的首选，但偶尔一次，我的胃还是能对付的，再说也不能扫老外一年一次难得的兴致呀。餐后至临睡前没有觉得任何不适，还和老班长吹牛，我打了预防针，感冒是不会找上门的。 周六凌晨开始感觉咽喉部不爽，赶紧两包板蓝根下肚。这板蓝根对我太重要了，有记忆就和它结缘，不知多少回救我于水深火热之前。记得第一次品尝可口可乐，大脑反应不过是加了气的板蓝根而已，大失所望。这回我的天哪，板蓝根失效，到周日我竟然感觉不如周六，开始有低温，鼻塞出现。 23日已是周一，我竟起不了床了，温度也有上升，现实和我的愿望背道而驰。LG仍然上班，两闺女在家照顾我。体温已过100F，为了降温，我口服泰偌，认为体温恢复正常，自我感觉希望会好转。哥哥及时来电询问，要求咨询护士，结果护士建议，因我在化疗期间，为以防万一，打911 或自己去急诊。跟着医学院一年级的大闺女去了急诊，我虽体力不佳可心里窃喜。看着，听着她和值班医生叙述我的病情及讨论可能出现的各种情况时的专注和兴奋，我再次深深体会到，成为自己闺女的病人已在慢慢成为现实。抽血，拍片的结果是推翻医生准备让我住院的最初计划，我小解放军只要自配抗生素就可立马回家准备过节。 那几天洛城的气温高达80度，湿度是0。燥热的空气直奔没经鼻毛（化疗疗没了）湿润的咽喉，无法忍受，只能创新自救。24日开始用开水蒸汽湿润呼吸道，再戴上透湿的口罩，躺着上上网听听音乐，隐隐约约嗅到俩闺女已装饰过圣诞树散发的清香，伴随LG和大闺女准备圣诞夜晚餐时毫无节奏的交流声，我很知足！（好转明显，抗生素就免了，活学活用医嘱，不好意思）。 圣诞日，庆幸大闺女没有因我的节外生枝改变飞往东部看望好友及家人的计划。好友母亲的病情大有好转，从半年前步不出户到今日遛狗小跑不在话下，进步大大的，赞一个！ LG在我反复要求下，终于带我去看海了（1mile）。虽错过日落，但丝毫不影响我打湿裤腿，兴高采烈追逐浪花，默念我肯定不是后浪，但也否认是前浪，你们说我属于什么浪呀？ 27日，LG也回国面试学生走了。我和小闺女相依为命（老妈原话），在我看来是又可以我行我素啦。看电影，逛大街，趁机开LG的Tesla飚车。在条件允许状况下，我要努力潇洒自如。癌暂且待一边去哈！

Me and Cancer (22 - Unexpected Problems) Thanksgiving Day this year was our first one since we moved to the new home. Even though the garage still had unopened boxes, and even though there was a mess of objects on the desks in the rooms, this did not stop LG from inviting students to our home to celebrate the holiday. This was a great chance for him to show off his cooking skills in making turkey. Maybe my expectations were too high, but I felt this year's turkey was not as good as the one from 2012, very possibly because LG had never been a very systematic cook, and in cooking the turkey probably just did whatever he felt. But I knew I was just being picky, and my praise could not be left out. After Thanksgiving, my brother and sister-in-law came to visit like in the past. When he saw I was still full of energy, even more so than during my older daughter’s graduation 5 months ago, and that I had gained weight since then, he was much relieved. This year the party thrown by the cancer association wasn’t left out either. On Wednesday, December 18, I finished the last chemo treatment of the year, and my CA-125 levels were dropping, so I welcomed the holidays with my heart full of hope. On Friday the 20th after I finished my exercise, I went with my qigong friends to have dim sum with our retired qigong teacher. While it wasn’t my first choice, every once in a while my stomach could handle this, and I didn’t want to put a damper on this occasion that only happened once a year. Following the meal, up until I went to bed, I felt no discomfort, and I even bragged to our group leader that I wouldn’t catch the flu because I had gotten the shot. Saturday morning my throat started to feel uncomfortable, and I immediately downed two packets of Chinese Banlangen medicine. This medicine is extremely important to me: I take it whenever I can, and I don’t even know how many times it has saved me from impending crises. I remember the first time I tasted Coca-Cola, I thought it just tasted like Banlangen with carbonation, and I was very disappointed. But today, my god, the Banlangen didn’t work, and by Sunday I felt worse than Saturday: I developed a low-grade fever and stuffy nose. By Monday the 23th, I was no longer able to get out of bed, and my fever had risen. My reality had gone in reverse of my hopes. LG was still at work, but my two daughters were home taking care of me. My body temperature went over 100F, so to lower it I took Tylenol, thinking that once my body temperature went back to normal, I would feel better. My brother called to check on me, and told me I should call a nurse. When I called, the nurse said that because I was on chemo, I should either call 911 or take myself to the emergency room. I went to the hospital with my older daughter who was now a first year medical student, and though I was weak, this made me feel happy inside. Watching and listening to her focus and energy while recounting my condition to the doctor on duty and discussing possible outcomes, I realized that becoming my daughter’s patient was slowly becoming reality. My blood and imaging results were what overturned the doctor’s initial plan to have me stay at the hospital, and all I had to do was pick up some antibiotics they prescribed and I could immediately go home and prepare for the holidays. Those few days, the temperature in LA hit 80 degrees, with no humidity. I couldn’t deal with the hot and dry air burning my nose (which no longer had any hair due to chemo) and my throat, so I had to come up with my own strategies. On the 24th, I started using steam to moisten my airways and wearing a wet face mask. Lying about, surfing the internet or listening to music, occasionally detecting the faint smell of the Christmas tree my daughters had decorated, and hearing LG and my older daughter conversing freely as they prepared Christmas Eve dinner, I was very content! (Since I had improved significantly, I didn’t take the antibiotics prescribed to me; I was selectively following doctor’s instructions and I felt guilty.) On Christmas Day, I was especially glad my older daughter didn’t change her plans to spend time with friends and family on the East Coast due to my new unexpected health problems. Her good friend's mother's illness had significantly improved, from not being able to leave the house six months ago, to easily completing small jogs today while walking their dog. So much progress, that is great! Under my repeated requests, LG finally agreed to go to the ocean with me (1 mile away). Although we missed the sunset, this didn’t keep me from getting my pant legs wet and happily chasing the waves. I thought to myself that I was not one of the back waves, but I wasn’t one of the front waves either. What kind of wave do you think I am? On the 27th, LG left home too, to go back to China and interview students. My younger daughter and I depended on each other day to day, and I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted again. We watched movies, went shopping, and took the opportunity to drive LG's Tesla  sports car. Conditions permitting, I will strive to be happy and carefree. Cancer will be put aside for the time being, ha!