2013.04.11: 9- Another Surgery

我与癌（9-再次手术） 2009年初回到LA，又重新开始一周三次练功十八法的集体活动和二，三次的个人活动，我对气的感悟再次缓慢地渐入佳境。为全面增强体质，又在家附近加入了每周一次的羽毛球运动。队员以中老年为主，球技参差不齐。都以双打或组打进行，便于来者都有参赛的机会。有80+老者，也不乏前马来西亚国家队的队员。这种形式，特别适合让我循序渐进，想当初，也在大学的校队混过一阵子。数月后，我便能较自信地加入与那位优秀选手进行双打的阵容。 我万分感谢俩闺女给予贴身贴心的棉袄棉裤的温暖。大闺女长小闺女6岁。06年，我确诊时，她上10 年级。这3年里，她不仅把自己的高中生活搞得有声有色，在我化疗期间，到了周末会早起特意为我准备早餐，还教外公外婆如何给我做色香味俱全且营养丰富的omelette，并时不时辅导妹妹的作业。从小到大，我对俩闺女基本不用特别操心，对予她俩的要求我十分的尊重和充分的信任，我经常反复强调首先做内心阳光的女孩，再做事业有成的女人。大闺女一直很自推，结果是09年她如愿以偿把自己推进了Yale。（今年毕业，会回加州进医学院继续学习）^_^ 但我的Ca125 却在悄无声息地往上走。可想而知我的癌在让我休养生息18个月后，第一次复发于盆腔，膀胱后结肠前（原位复发）。适合手术。 术前，我使出浑身解数，淋漓尽致，挥汗如雨拍打着飞舞的羽毛球，感谢队友的默契配合，让我毫无顾忌地发泄倒地。 医生E在09年9月底对我实行复发肿瘤切除术，刀口较前缩短三分之二，只从肚脐下3寸至耻骨联合上。查房时，参与手术的Fellow特意谈及，她十分意外没在我盆腔内发现疤痕组织。因前次手术和继而盆，腹腔的化疗，对疤痕的形成基本不可避免。我十分有把握是由于我坚持不懈操练练功十八法及其它运动的结果。 术后，嫂子特意请了一周的假来陪我。烧给我吃，煮给我喝，还善意撒谎说我哥是因无假可用，只好她来。我哪里知道，一周后，和妈妈通电话，刚想开口告知复发，手术的情况。电话那头竟传来哭泣声，我赶紧追问到底出了什么事。原来妈妈也做了肾癌切除术， 日期竟和我的手术不相上下。揪心的是妈妈发现肾癌前，就只剩一侧肾，幸运的是癌长的部位特别适合手术，术后肾功能基本不受影响。哥哥那时就在妈妈身边。我有这样的哥嫂，我超满意，超满足，超值！！！！ 嫂子飞离，我倍感孤独，因我LG一般不善于主动询问，一旦我开口要求，他会尽心尽力。 化疗又要开始了。我心已定，这次，不仅没有妈妈在身边，还要给她做个榜样。我已接受我与癌将会是长期的，艰辛的合作关系。我要尽可能挖掘自身潜力，建立并巩固自己相对独立的生活规律和社交圈。

Cancer and Me (9 - Another Surgery) I returned to LA in early 2009, and I once again started to practice the Eighteen Forms three times a week with a group and do personal exercise two or three times a week. My awareness of qi was further improving. To improve all aspects of my health, I started to play badminton once a week near my house. I was mostly playing against older individuals, and we were all at different skill levels. We always played in twos or groups, which gave everyone the opportunity to play. There was one man in his 80s, and even a former player from the Malaysian national team. This was particularly suitable to help me make steady progress, and brought me back to my time in university when I played too. After several months, I was confident enough to play doubles against that most skilled player. I am infinitely thankful for the wholehearted warmth and love my daughters have given me. My older daughter is six years older than my younger. In 2006 when I was diagnosed, she was in 10th grade. Over these three years, she not only performed phenomenally in high school, but during the time I was undergoing chemotherapy, she would get up early on the weekends to make me breakfast, and also teach her grandparents how to make healthy, great tasting omelets. She also often helped her sister with her homework. For their entire lives, I have not had to worry much about my two girls. I completely respect their decisions and trust them. I frequently emphasize to them to first achieve internal happiness, and then achieve professional happiness. My older daughter is very self-driven, and as a result she fulfilled her wish of being accepted to Yale in 2009. (She is graduating this year, and will be returning to California to continue her education in medical school) ^_^ But my CA-125 was slowly increasing. You can imagine, after recovering from cancer for 18 months, it relapsed in the pelvic area, bladder, and colon (recurrence in situ). But it was suitable for surgery. Before the surgery, I put all my might into badminton, sweating up a storm as I played. Thank you to all my teammates for all their help in letting me exert myself until I hit the ground. At the end of September 2009, Dr. E performed the surgery to remove the tumors. The incision was only two-thirds as big as the previous one, from 3 inches below my belly button to the top of my pubic bone. While making rounds, a surgical fellow made a point to bring up the fact that she was very surprised that she didn’t see any scar tissue around the incision, because after the previous surgery and the intraperitoneal chemotherapy, the formation of scar tissue was basically unavoidable. I am certain this is because I never gave up practicing the Eighteen Forms and exercising. After surgery, my sister-in-law look a week off of work to help me recover. She cooked for me, made me tea, and even was so nice as to lie that my brother couldn’t come because he had no vacation time.  But little did I know, a week later when I was on the phone with my mom, right when I was about to bring up my recurrence and the situation with surgery I heard crying on the on the other side of the phone, so I immediately asked what had happened. It turned out that my mom had also had surgery for her kidney cancer around the time that I had my surgery. The worrisome part was that the cancer was on my mom’s only remaining kidney, but luckily the cancer was in a location that made it easily removable by surgery, and afterwards the kidney function would be basically unaffected. That whole time, my brother was by her side. Having a brother and sister-in-law like this makes me super fulfilled and happy!!!! After my sister-in-law left, I felt extra lonely because LG is not the best at taking initiative to ask questions, but once I ask for anything, he will always do anything he can to make it happen. I will be starting chemotherapy again soon. My heart is set: this time, not only will my mom not be by my side, I will be a role model for her. I have already expected my journey with cancer to be a long and arduous one. I need to search for inner strength, and establish and solidify both my independent and social life.